The Empty Chair & The Overwhelmed Table: Navigating the Holidays as a Texas LPC
- Gilbert D. Melchor, MS, LPC-S
- 4 days ago
- 4 min read
Here in Texas, the holiday season arrives with its own unique personality. Sometimes it brings a brisk chill, and other times we are wearing shorts to put up lights in 80-degree weather. But regardless of the temperature outside, the temperature inside the therapy room inevitably shifts this time of year.
As LPCs, we know the "Holiday Season" is rarely just about celebration. It is a complex cocktail of regression, grief, financial anxiety, and high-stakes family dynamics.
As we head into December, I want to offer some supervisory thoughts on how we hold space for our clients, maintain cultural humility, and protect our own peace during the busiest emotional season of the year.
The Clinical Shift: What to Expect
If you are an LPC Associate, this might be your first time seeing a full caseload through the holidays. If you are a seasoned veteran, you know the drill. Expect three primary themes to dominate sessions:
The "Empty Chair" (Grief): Loss is magnified by tradition. Clients who have lost loved ones, gone through a divorce, or are estranged from family will feel the absence acutely.
The "Time Machine" (Regression): High-functioning adult clients often return to their childhood homes and immediately regress to teenage dynamics. Expect sessions in January to be heavy on processing family-of-origin triggers.
The "Perfect" Pressure: The gap between the Hallmark movies and our clients' reality creates shame. In Texas, where hospitality is a cultural pillar, the pressure to host the "perfect" gathering can be crushing.
Supervisory Note: Watch for an increase in crisis calls. Ensure your voicemail and informed consent documents clearly outline your availability and emergency procedures (988, local MHMR) during the days you are out of the office.
Cultural Respect: Beyond "Merry Christmas"
Texas is beautifully diverse. We serve clients from the Panhandle to the Valley, representing a vast array of religious, spiritual, and secular backgrounds.
As counselors, we adhere to the ACA Code of Ethics regarding cultural sensitivity. During the holidays, this moves from theory to practice. Here is how we manage cultural respect without being rigid:
Avoid Assumptions
Do not assume every client is looking forward to Christmas, or that they celebrate it at all. We have clients observing Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Diwali, Winter Solstice, Bodhi Day, or simply enjoying time off without religious attachment.
Instead of: "Are you ready for Christmas?"
Try: "How does this time of year usually look for you?" or "Does your family have specific traditions coming up?"
Validate the "Opt-Out"
Some clients choose not to celebrate due to religious trauma or personal preference. In a state where religious culture is prominent, these clients often feel isolated or judged.
The Intervention: Validate that not celebrating is a healthy boundary if it protects their peace. Normalize the choice to create new, quiet traditions that don't look like the mainstream.
Be Curious, Not an Expert
You do not need to be an expert on every holiday custom. You need to be an expert on cultural humility. If a client mentions a tradition you are unfamiliar with, use it as a bridge for rapport. Ask them what it means to them and how it impacts their mental health.
The Ethical Grey Area: Gifts
This is the number one question I get from Associates in December: "My client brought me a gift. What do I do?"
The Texas BHEC and LPC rules focus on exploitation and boundaries. While we must avoid exploitation, rejecting a small, culturally significant token can damage the therapeutic alliance. (Recall our rules, “…must not give or accept a gift from a client or a relative of a client valued at more than $50…”)
A framework for decision making:
Cost: Is it monetary or expensive? (Hard No). Is it a handmade card or homemade cookies? (Likely okay).
Intent: Is the client trying to "buy" your favor, or are they expressing gratitude in a culturally appropriate way?
The Clinical Impact: Will accepting this foster the relationship? Will rejecting it cause shame?
Script for accepting: "Thank you so much for thinking of me. I can’t accept expensive gifts, but I really appreciate this card/gesture. It means a lot to our work together."
Protecting the Instrument (You)
Finally, let’s talk about you.
You are the instrument of healing. If you are burned out, resentful, or exhausted, you cannot be effective. The "Texas Grit" mentality often convinces us to push through, but you cannot pour from an empty cup.
Set Boundaries: It is okay to take days off. You do not need to be available 24/7. Prepare in advance.
Manage Countertransference: You have your own family dynamics and holiday stress. If a client’s story hits too close to home, consult with your supervisor or peer consultation group.
Schedule "Decompression" Time: If you know the week after New Year's is going to be flooded with crisis appointments, schedule lighter days now to prepare.
A Final Thought
As we wrap up the year, I want to thank you for the work you do. Counseling is often thankless work, done in quiet rooms with heavy hearts. This season, remember to extend the same grace and compassion to yourself that you so freely give to your clients.
Stay warm, stay ethical, and take care of yourselves.
...supervision matters!
Comments